An old friend's thoughts

Remembering an old friend called Toni A. L.

Years ago i have someone to share weird thoughts. He's a painter in Bali. I was college girl. We talked just by phone, in text mostly. He's a philosophy books' lover. He's a 'low profile' guy who has many unique thoughts. I consider him as a guru for myself. It's been years we're stop talking to each other since his marriage. No, not like what you guys thinking... we purely are friends. There's no love affair between us. We'd stop talking just because we're busy, that's all.

Today i found many messages he sent me years ago. And i'd like to share it with you. I hope there's something good you'll find there like i did.

Toni a.l.’s magical words:

19-03-2007, 18;19 : Selalu ada perih yang merambat ketika hari jelang gelap.., selalu ada luka yang menganga ketika kaki injak kembali kota lama ( It's always hurt when the darkness come, there's always wound when step into the old (home)town)

17-05-2007, 13;36 : Pelajari Cleopatra, Evita du Peron, Wu Zetian..perempuan2 yg bisa mengubah dunia. Jgn Kartini, dia mati di poligami ( Learn Cleopatra, Evita du Peron, Wu Zetian..women who has change the world. Not Kartini, who's died by a betrayal)

17-05-2007, 13;43 : Pada kodratnya, perempuan itu ikatan, dan lelaki selalu ingin pergi...Di ujung hanya laut dan cakrawala.. dan buih yang setia menyetubuhi pasir.. ( naturally, woman is a bond, and man always want to adventure...in the end there're only ocean and horizon left... also the froth which keep flowing back and forth over the sand)

06-06-2007, 13;25 : I don’t really know what we called: something contemporary, but i’m aware, art without deep understanding of spirituality will lead us to nowhere

19-06-2007, 19;40 : Who wants to be a millionaire? Gantungkan behamu setinggi langit he.. hee... ( dream as high as can be)

19-06-2007, 19;44 : Catatan harian Toni a.l. 1997-2007...revolusi itu pedih jendral!

19-06-2007, 19;53 : Taiko:// perjalanan Toyotomi Hideyoshi, dari anak petani miskin menjadi Shogun terkuat di Jepang. ( Taiko:// story of Toyotomi Hideyoshi, son of a poor farmer who became the most powerful Shogun in Japan)

19-06-2007, 20;41 : Yen di renungke tenan, urip iki mung perjalanan nebus karma.. ( think deep, then you'll find that life is a journey of paying karma)

20-06-2007, 07;01 : Pagi, dingin masih terasa, langit murung, jalan basah, aku tak ingin lelap dalam tidur.. ( Morning, still feels cold, the sky is mourning, the road is wet, i don't want to fall asleep no more...)

21-06-2007, 11;35 : Musim yang tidak menentu, bencana alam beruntun dan kekacauan dimana-mana, bukankah itu pertanda telah terjadi disharmoni antara alam dan manusia? Manusia sekarang tak lagi paham bahasa2 alam: tanah, air, api dan angin. Manusia sekarang tak lagi peka pada bulan dan bintang dan matahari. Duduk sendiri menikmati pendar2 cahaya bulan jatuh di air, sayup2 terdengar seorang ibu melantunkan tembang Jawa; ”..ngelingi ibu pertiwi, ngelingi bapa akasa, ngelingono titahing dadi manungso..”
( GLOBAL WARN(M)ING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! )
( Unpredictable climate, natural disasters keep happening and mess everywhere, wasn't that a sign of disharmony between human and nature? Human don't understand the nature's language anymore: earth, water, fire and wind. Human are no longer sensitive to the moon and stars and sun. Sitting alone enjoy the glimpse of the moonlight that fall on the water, softly heard an old lady sang a Javanese song: "..remembering the mother of earth, remembering the father of the sky, and please remember the duty of being a human..")

21-06-2007, 21;02 : Lagune Sujiwo Tejo judule Doa di kerja; intine doa yang sebenarnya itu ada dalam kerja, dalam cucuran keringat. ( Sujiwo Tejo's song which called " A prayer'; the essence of prayer is in the workplace, in the stream of sweat)

Bukan maksudku berbagi untuk nasib, nasib adalah kesunyian masing2. ini juga ku tulis di setiap kapal di lautan tak bernama (Chairil Anwar). ( I didn't mean to share a fate, fate is each person's loneliness. I wrote this on every boat on the nameless sea also).

…. And if you listen very hard, the tune will come to you at last. When all are one and one is all, to be a rock but not to roll..(led zeppelin)

Di telapak kaki ibu tak ada surga kawan! Hanya jejak2 pengorbanan tanpa pamrih, hanya kasih tanpa letih… ( There's no heaven below our mothers's feet, fellow! There're only traces of selfless sacrifice, tireless love indeed)

Kepasrahan yang penuh, kesederhanaan yang agung. (kitab tjampuhan halaman terakhir)
( A fully self surrender, a great simplicity. ( the last page of Tjampuhan story book))

Kurengkuh terang dan gelap untuk memahami cahaya, ku kecap pahit dan manis untuk memahami fana. ( I grab the brightness and the darkness to understand the light, i taste the bitterness and the sweetness to understand mortality).

DT Suzuki : Professor di Otani, Jepang
Penulis tentang Zen budhism
Pembawa Zen ke dunia barat th 30an
( DT Suzuki: A professor in Otani, Japan. A writer of Zen Buddhism. The carrier of zen to the western in around 1930)

Bocah kecil menulis di atas pasir di tepi pantai. Ombak datang menghapusnya, ia hanya tersenyum dan menulis lagi ketika ombak itu pergi… ( A little boy wrote on the sand at foreshore. The wave came by and erase that, and he's just smiling and wrote again when the wave's go away)

Mengurai kepedihan untuk menemukan makna yang terdalam, tak lain adalah keindahan.
( Parse the pain to find the deepest meaning, is nothing but beauty).

1,5x2m : “How hard to understand each other, struggle for life”
Homage to “D” ( This is a painting he dedicated to me)

To study budha is yourself; to understand everybody's thought.

Kiss the joy as it feels.

Suka duka itu pakaian jiwa, semua ada faedahnya.
( Happiness & sadness are just the soul clothing (?), there're all has a purpose)

Kebudayaan jawa menyimpan energi lebih untuk bertahan dalam derita.
( Javanese culture have the extra energy to struggle (although) in pain)

Gempa bikin kita berpikir lebih jauh tentang makna hidup dan penyerahan, atau hidup dan kegigihan.
( Earthquake made us think further either about life essence and self surrender, or life and struggle.

Saya tidak bisa mengukur kebesaran Allah itu seberapa dan seperti apa, tapi saya bisa merasakan betapa kecil manusia yang merambat2 di kulit bumi.
( I couldn't measure the greatness of Allah, how much and how does it looks like, but i could feel how small human who crawling on the earth are)

‘long maturing in the sacred worm”

Ora nduweni, ora kelangan iku gampang. Nduweni ning ora kelangan iku sing angel…
( Have nothing and not losing anything is easy. Having without losing is dificult..)

Penak dadi wong ora nduwe po wong ra kelangan?
( Got nothing or Not losing anything, what you chose?)

Pilih duit sithik ning cukup, po duit akeh ning ora kurang?
( Having a little money but enough, or Having lot of money but never lack of it, what you choose?)

Sakpenak-penake urip iku yen ngerti ora penake urip.
( Life is good when you already knew the bitter one)

To enter deeply into the mistery of being..

Zen: mengajak manusia mengenali kembali fitrahnya (citra realitas Illahi)
( Zen: take the human to recognize their real fate)

Ada bahasa2 universal yang bisa menghubungkan relung hati terdalam setiap insan.
( There are universal languages which could connect the recesses of the heart of every human)

Umbul kendhat (pengging) iku pamoksane putri Majapahit; Dyah Ayu Retno Kedathon. Pas Islam (Demak) menghancurkan Majapahit, sang Putri melarikan diri ke Pengging mau minta bantuan Prabu Sri Makurung (Ki Ageng Pengging) kakak iparnya. Tapi ketika sampai ke Pengging, ki Ageng sekeluarga sudah moksa. Karena tidak mau masuk islam, akhirnya dengan kesaktian yang di miliki, sang putri pun ikut moksa. Petilasan mereka tidak di bangun candi tapi dibentuk makam untuk menghindari penghancuran situs2 Majapahit oleh pihak islam. ( not yet translated)

( Di atas adalah kumpulan pesan singkat oleh teman saya itu, yang masih saya catat. Spasi adalah pembatas dalam arti sebenarnya, jadi nggak semua bahasan di atas saling berhubungan, malah sebenarnya sebagian besar tidak saling terkait secara langsung. Di atas adalah catatan acak yang di pisahkan oleh spasi. *halah njlimet. wis pokoke ngonolah*)
( Above are several text messages from him which i've noted. Space is a real divider, therefore most of the phrase above are not related to each other straightly. Above are random notes that divide by spaces. *well it's a bit hard to explain, but you know...you'll get what i mean after you read them*)
( Pardon me if there're many mistakes in translation)


Have a great time all...